I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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