The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
