Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
