We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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