these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize