I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
