Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
