I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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