whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
