I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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