id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
