And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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