I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
