Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
