I heard we made out
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
