Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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