Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
