he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
