PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I need to calm my uterus...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
