He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Randomize
