omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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