I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
