I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize