If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
