You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
