if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dignity is for republicans.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
