if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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