she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
