I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
