True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
