I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
