Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize