Got a toothbrush?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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