You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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