so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize