I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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