When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
