i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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