Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
