I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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