I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
