I feel like abortions should bother me more
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
