What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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