she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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