This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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