Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
