I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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