i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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