Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize