So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
