if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
