I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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