I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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