I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
