I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
