1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
