I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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