Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize