so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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